I've been doing a lot of thinking about friendships lately. Mainly because I feel like I've been lacking in this department since I moved here three years ago. For some reason or another, it's been hard for me to meet people my age who I share interests with. I've been thinking of trying to find a cooking class, scrapbooking class, or something along those lines, to hopefully meet some people around my age. It's not like kindergarten when you just go up to someone and ask if they will come to your birthday party and be your friend, ya know? If only it were that easy!
I've also been struggling with the fact that I'm not as close with my group of girlfriends from college as I once was. To be honest, this breaks my heart. There was a group of about 14 of us who were inseparable in college and shortly after we graduated. Naturally, a few of us started moving away, but most of them still live in one general location. Before I moved here, I was able to see them a few times a month and we got together regularly. Now it's almost as if we can't be friends since we don't live in the same state to see each other. There are about 5 of those girls who I try to talk with weekly, but lately, it's like pulling teeth to get them to call me back. It's sad because I feel like I've fallen off their radar. I think about them often and will call just to chit chat, but none of them ever just pick up the phone to say hi to me and see how I'm doing. Yes, I'm having a pity party right now, but I'm really sad about it. These are people who I thought would be in my life forever, but I'm coming to the realization that God might have other plans.
I told H the other day that I think part of this has to do with the fact that I wasn't quite sure who I was in college. I'm not sure why, but for awhile I was pretending to be someone I was not. Maybe now that I have my priorities straight and am doing my best to stay on the straight and narrow, God has different friends in mind for me. I understand that some people come into your life for a season and not everyone is meant to be with you for a lifetime. I'm slowly becoming okay with that.
I pray for God to send me godly women who I can "do life with." I know that He will, in His timing. I have a feeling that He's really trying to show me that He needs to be my ultimate best friend. I say that He is, but maybe everyone else needs to be stripped away in order for me to really believe that. I'm thankful for this time of refinement because the Lord has used it to draw me even closer to Himself.