I hate to admit to this, but I've completely "let myself go" over the last few years. Growing up, I was involved in gymnastics and soccer until I graduated from high school - I was always active and in really great shape. When I went off to college I worked out a few times a week over the course of 4 years, but it definitely wasn't as much by the time my senior year rolled around. I did gain weight during my college years, but not enough for me to really do anything about it.
Then, I graduated and started my first "big girl job." Exercising quickly took a backseat as I got adjusted to balancing my time and my new life. Two summers ago I was at the heaviest weight I'd ever been and, honestly, when I saw that number on my scale I cried. I slowly started to make some changes in my eating/exercising habits and was able to see the difference. Make an effort = see results...who would've thought?!
Then before my wedding last year, I lost a little bit more weight and toned up in order to feel my best on my big day. I could've worked a little harder, but that's hindsight and there's nothing I can do about it now!
I've been married for 14 months and I've gained back all the weight I lost plus a few more pounds. Like I said, I'm disappointed in myself. I have no other excuse other than I've been lazy, which sounds like an understatement. Sadly, it took me a year to realize that I don't need to consume as much food as my husband. Along with that and my lack of exercise, what was I thinking would happen?
I told my husband the other day that I need to make some serious changes. First and foremost, I need to learn to love myself again. I think that's the deep rooted issue here. If I truly loved myself, then this probably wouldn't have happened. I do my best to honor the Lord in all I do, but I've failed in this area of my life. I want to honor my body as I'm called to do in His word. I'm praying that He would allow me to see myself with His eyes. I want to remember and truly believe that "I am fearfully and wonderfully made" as it says in Psalm 139.
So, as 2011 rolls in I want to commit myself to getting healthy. Sure, I want to lose weight, but I want to focus more on becoming healthier. I plan to do this by paying closer attention to the types of food I'm putting into my body, drinking more water, and making an exercise plan and sticking to it! We are talking about trying to start a family next year and I want to be as healthiest I can be before that happens.